When not traveling
internationally doing ceremonies and sessions, I teach in Guatemala at one of
this planet’s 'vortex' energy centers, San Marcos la Laguna, Lake Atitlan. I
conduct a school for healers, empaths, lightworkers, teachers, creators, and
manifesters that does not primarily teach techniques in such subjects…
techniques that you yourself designed to remember rather than learn. I
share a do-it-yourself process of getting out of your own way so more of this magic
you already are can wake up, be recognized, and play… without the drama,
scripts, and stories that can so limit and color it. As those abilities are remembered, I help
with the understanding and application, and have a porch full of people to experience ones healing magic with.
I am not here to give
you answers or tell you the truth. I am
here to assist in your understanding and following of an inner process that is
the flow of your own knowing and being... that is being guided by your Higher Self and more. That would
help you clear the densities and open to more of the light you are. In processing inner issues, I am here to 'watch your back'… to keep an eye out for your 'blind spot' as it's often called... where you would slip unknowing past something you might
otherwise want to be paying attention to.
These days I often see healing modalities awakening that are in no class, book, or web page – they are too new. So many others have the experience of hands tingling-hot-wet with healing energy that I generally mention this to the group so those who have never recognized the experience can validate the download of multidimensional potential being morphed by their heart center into a more-available form and streamed down the arms to be given through the hands as healing light. We make use of this flow and extend it to using the heart center directly… all to assist in movement within self and others of dark shadow density or light shadow expansion. All this happens at our house in a school that is often known as 'the porch'.
My ceremonies/ classes (3 days a week dry season, 2-3 a week wet… when I’m not traveling) provide an opportunity to put these remembered abilities into practice. In the Chocolate Shaman’s school, the chocolate is optional – those who do not wish to use any drug for spiritual purposes do just fine. For more information, see the page, 'My Ceremony Schedule...'.
Some of my writings may be found here:
Many of the spiritual travelers here where I live experience that in the Lake Atitlan ‘vortex’ energy their stories come up in an accelerated way. Drama. Some understand that no one goes wherever one would say we are headed in this shift… while carrying all their emotional and belief system baggage. If you take such unresolved inner issues into the welcoming state of more effortless manifestation, they more effortlessly manifest.
I am working all over the world with people, especially artists, teachers, and healers, that are downloading and using a lot of light energies - and they are finding that everything expands: the good gets 'gooder' and the bad gets badder. They polarize. They are manifesting intense emotional train wrecks, craziness, or baffling medical symptoms in the projected mirror called reality... as they are manifesting amazing healing in their clients or art in the world. Assuming they remain functional enough to work on those clients... and some don't for awhile. This will become increasingly common as creators and manifesters called to further open their abilities find it is imperative to get out of their own way by cleaning up their personal inner world.
I could put up an entire website on this part of my present work... but first i need to get one up about Empaths - those who are sponges for the emotional or energetic density of others or of the environment - it's their training in density as expert healers who will be deeply needed in the near future. Beginning as children, millions of them, they painfully ate and many continue to eat those energies as a profound education… so that they may, and it is now time, find empowering and fulfilling ways to continue separating density from individuals, groups, or the environment, however they have specialized. We assist a lot of them here. We now have 3 videographers at work on a documentary on empaths... as training headed for YouTube. Note: I have added a work-in-progress Empath page to this site.
That ‘density’ is increasingly coming ‘up’, because it must, because it’s time, and because you made this choice before you were born. This process will continue to intensify over the next years. Much of my work is with those who are actively moving their density in order to allow who they are to further awaken… and in order to understand the process by doing it so they may facilitate others through it. Here, the Cacao Spirit offered partnership in reintroducing the Holy Bean as The Food for the Shift.
You can feel and move your density internally through meditation or processing, or you can objectify it in reality and feel it through trauma, drama, pain, struggle, suffering, and stories. The later takes longer and is more painful. Either way, the process is mandatory; how and when you do it is your choice. Cacao can assist in the inner cooperation of connecting to that density, to Higher Self, to guidance, and to the divine light/love energy of transmutation and healing. May we all finish skimming layers, learning non-attachment as we go, by repeatedly objectifying and cycling through our stuff! Cacao can assist beautifully with whatever you wish to be more connected with! It's one of so many wonderful options available here!
“You will be guided from within, at levels beyond your
conscious awareness to navigate the depths of some of the experiential rites of
passage. The keywords here are trust and surrender.” …Oneness by Rasha
These days I often see healing modalities awakening that are in no class, book, or web page – they are too new. So many others have the experience of hands tingling-hot-wet with healing energy that I generally mention this to the group so those who have never recognized the experience can validate the download of multidimensional potential being morphed by their heart center into a more-available form and streamed down the arms to be given through the hands as healing light. We make use of this flow and extend it to using the heart center directly… all to assist in movement within self and others of dark shadow density or light shadow expansion. All this happens at our house in a school that is often known as 'the porch'.
“This morning while with a client, I thought I would take
them with me to the 'energy of the porch'.
I discovered once again on a new level that 'the energy of the porch' is
not a place but a vibration.... a level of dimension... and something must
have shifted within because the experience was completely different in how it
presented itself to me. It was a new dimension of the experience of being
in 'that field of resonance'. You and Barbara were there but yet we were
all the same presence in this 'bubble' or 'sphere' of expression /
experience..... it was the most loving expression that has been created thus
far in this new 'journey' and I simply had to share it. There was a lot there happening but there are
no words in this space to explain and besides I doubt it is at all necessary to
do so.
"We" were there as "ONE" fully loving presence and I am humbled yet again into a beautiful place of grace ....... wwwweeeeeeeee :)” ...multidimensional experience becoming normal
"We" were there as "ONE" fully loving presence and I am humbled yet again into a beautiful place of grace ....... wwwweeeeeeeee :)” ...multidimensional experience becoming normal
My ceremonies/ classes (3 days a week dry season, 2-3 a week wet… when I’m not traveling) provide an opportunity to put these remembered abilities into practice. In the Chocolate Shaman’s school, the chocolate is optional – those who do not wish to use any drug for spiritual purposes do just fine. For more information, see the page, 'My Ceremony Schedule...'.
Some of my writings may be found here:
Many of the spiritual travelers here where I live experience that in the Lake Atitlan ‘vortex’ energy their stories come up in an accelerated way. Drama. Some understand that no one goes wherever one would say we are headed in this shift… while carrying all their emotional and belief system baggage. If you take such unresolved inner issues into the welcoming state of more effortless manifestation, they more effortlessly manifest.
I am working all over the world with people, especially artists, teachers, and healers, that are downloading and using a lot of light energies - and they are finding that everything expands: the good gets 'gooder' and the bad gets badder. They polarize. They are manifesting intense emotional train wrecks, craziness, or baffling medical symptoms in the projected mirror called reality... as they are manifesting amazing healing in their clients or art in the world. Assuming they remain functional enough to work on those clients... and some don't for awhile. This will become increasingly common as creators and manifesters called to further open their abilities find it is imperative to get out of their own way by cleaning up their personal inner world.
I could put up an entire website on this part of my present work... but first i need to get one up about Empaths - those who are sponges for the emotional or energetic density of others or of the environment - it's their training in density as expert healers who will be deeply needed in the near future. Beginning as children, millions of them, they painfully ate and many continue to eat those energies as a profound education… so that they may, and it is now time, find empowering and fulfilling ways to continue separating density from individuals, groups, or the environment, however they have specialized. We assist a lot of them here. We now have 3 videographers at work on a documentary on empaths... as training headed for YouTube. Note: I have added a work-in-progress Empath page to this site.
That ‘density’ is increasingly coming ‘up’, because it must, because it’s time, and because you made this choice before you were born. This process will continue to intensify over the next years. Much of my work is with those who are actively moving their density in order to allow who they are to further awaken… and in order to understand the process by doing it so they may facilitate others through it. Here, the Cacao Spirit offered partnership in reintroducing the Holy Bean as The Food for the Shift.
You can feel and move your density internally through meditation or processing, or you can objectify it in reality and feel it through trauma, drama, pain, struggle, suffering, and stories. The later takes longer and is more painful. Either way, the process is mandatory; how and when you do it is your choice. Cacao can assist in the inner cooperation of connecting to that density, to Higher Self, to guidance, and to the divine light/love energy of transmutation and healing. May we all finish skimming layers, learning non-attachment as we go, by repeatedly objectifying and cycling through our stuff! Cacao can assist beautifully with whatever you wish to be more connected with! It's one of so many wonderful options available here!
We put into practical use the "you create your own reality" (Seth), "reality is feedback - a mirror" (so many), "unless you learn to face your own shadows, you will continue to see them in others, because the world outside you is only a reflection of the world inside you" (A Course in Miracles related), "nothing changes until you do" (Lazaris), and "reality is an internally generated hologram" (Lazaris)...
“I
must say, the work yo represent is the most profound direct and fun work I have
met in this world so fare and it is a big pleasure that to help spreding it out
to more people” ... a porch regular
"[My ex] is clearing stuff too like immediately on my clearing my stuff inside.. he reflects the external reality almost instantly.
"[My ex] is clearing stuff too like immediately on my clearing my stuff inside.. he reflects the external reality almost instantly.
i'm so immersed in seeing everything
as my hologram.. it makes me giggle now.. it's so hard to take anything
seriously! Ha!" ...email communication
“Keith.. thank you, truly for your guidance, space holding and
blindspot watching.. i'm so deeply grateful for helping me to liberate myself
from the confines of a world that no longer serves me and helping me to launch
myself into the dream reality of all i am and the world i want to co-create of
infinite possibility, love and joy... Thank you thank you thank you and bless
you...”
“oh and keith, you have quite a reputation here in the west coast tribe. as i walked around sharing nibbles off a cacao block one afternoon, many knew it was yours and spoke of how you had ‘changed their lives’” …California festival
“Ahhhhh Keith...... I love that I chose what I chose... and what chose me chose me... I lay on the Ceremony floor after everyone left and cried from the gratitude that I hadn't allowed myself to kill myself all those times and that I could do THIS amazing thing every day instead.” ...Just how it is
“oh and keith, you have quite a reputation here in the west coast tribe. as i walked around sharing nibbles off a cacao block one afternoon, many knew it was yours and spoke of how you had ‘changed their lives’” …California festival
“Ahhhhh Keith...... I love that I chose what I chose... and what chose me chose me... I lay on the Ceremony floor after everyone left and cried from the gratitude that I hadn't allowed myself to kill myself all those times and that I could do THIS amazing thing every day instead.” ...Just how it is
"WOW.
Everything has changed. and I do not exactly know who or where I am supposed to
be these days, but it oddly feels in alignment.... does that make sense?
It
feels as if 6 years of processing have occurred since last seeing you in
July! I think I am still a sane human being (haha) yet feel as though I
have been “unplugged” from the program and learning to live in an entirely
different way. Some days I feel powerful and others quite boggled, but I still
have my love goggles on!
My life got flipped upside down starting 1 day
after you left and is just balancing back out, everything and anything not
serving my highest good anymore came up and out... with a fury!" ...welcome to the real world of saying 'yes' to yourself
More About What I Do
"His work is the fastest, easiest and most graceful that I have come across. He is also the most laid back, yet intense teacher, he truly knows how to gracefully walk the worlds. Keith... hones in effortlessly on core belief systems and emotions that I had no idea were affecting me in every way, invites us to go to the roots and release permanently. He is reliable, tireless, and 100% heart centered." …after several years of international spiritual travel
"Since the last Chocolate Ceremony, for which I am endlessly grateful to you for holding the space and tapping so subtly and deeply into what my soul was screaming and ready for, and for hearing the messages of my guides. Endlessly I mean! Since then it seems like I already have gained so much more lightedness, to be read on my face, manifesting much deeper work on people, packed yoga classes and men sensing my openness (I might need to be aware of that, hmmm or not!)" …a local therapist
"Your ceremony brought me to a very powerful place in my understanding of love and the legacy of my family. I have met an amazing partner and have used the chocolate I purchased from you to feed him the love medicine I received. Thank you so much for holding space during the ceremony. I have received amazing blessings in my life since the experience. Blessed be all that you do"... ...this weeks email
"I changed my flight for 150 Euros because I learned more about myself and the human condition here in one week than in 2 years of university psychology." …overheard before yesterday’s ceremony while i was pouring chocolate
"I think it might be because I refused to forget what I experienced at your ceremonies that the magic stays with me even months and miles away." ...an amazing being, like us all
"thank you so much…
major layers of density have moved and more coming up... big deep core
issues... at the moment I'm in that blissful place between the breakers and
quite ready to engage the next wave...." ...email thanks
"…to
feel the comparison of the level of processing we had experienced on your front
porch and to feel in to instantly which one resonated for me energetically
the most as my lifes direction. It was one of the most valuable
experiences of my life those 3 days, because in one weekend, I gratefully said
goodbye to the perception that I could work with my old colleagues within that
particular healing domain…" …from a
medical doctor
i feel more supported by Universe than ever.. big deal for abandonment drama girl" ...Facebook Cacao Tribe communication
Many are not yet ready to go this deep… but there are more every month! Please note that no one here is going to do it for you, teach you in the instruction manner, or be your guru... although personal assistance will be there. If you are expecting that someone here other than you is going to magically change your life, most likely you're going to be quite disappointed. I'm not here so much to change your life, I'm here to hold a space and demonstrate an understanding which allows you to experience in your own body how that changing is done... so you may continue it for yourself and use it to assist others if that dings your dinger.
Being here at the Lake during the dry season allows me to spend more time, over time, with those committed to changing their personal reality. Much more time with long term folks... more fun for me!
I share a do-it-yourself process of getting out of your own way so more of the magic you already are can wake up and play. And, in understanding by doing it, you may facilitate others through it. The group of higher beings that taught me prepared me to teach among second wave awakeners so you can teach the third wave… who will be along soon. This is one place to get your training. In the next few years, in this acceleration, many more will find themselves in an imperative to release their density and connect with their light… I welcome those who are feeling that imperative now.
"The 4 ceremonies were life changing for me. I really appreciate your
approach and gifts. thank you thank you thank you esp. for your patience :)" ...another email
"Oh Keith.. i truly have totally
surrendered to even trying to figure out on ANY level what my life's work is
all about!!
i'm having so much fun just being
and getting out of the way.. and every hour i do that.. MORE flows in like a
tidal wave!
…embracing
all the layers that inevitably come up with stepping into aligning with
consciousness... no-thing-ness.. and allowing the next level of emptying me out
and surrendering to higher self to happen...i feel more supported by Universe than ever.. big deal for abandonment drama girl" ...Facebook Cacao Tribe communication
Many are not yet ready to go this deep… but there are more every month! Please note that no one here is going to do it for you, teach you in the instruction manner, or be your guru... although personal assistance will be there. If you are expecting that someone here other than you is going to magically change your life, most likely you're going to be quite disappointed. I'm not here so much to change your life, I'm here to hold a space and demonstrate an understanding which allows you to experience in your own body how that changing is done... so you may continue it for yourself and use it to assist others if that dings your dinger.
Being here at the Lake during the dry season allows me to spend more time, over time, with those committed to changing their personal reality. Much more time with long term folks... more fun for me!
I share a do-it-yourself process of getting out of your own way so more of the magic you already are can wake up and play. And, in understanding by doing it, you may facilitate others through it. The group of higher beings that taught me prepared me to teach among second wave awakeners so you can teach the third wave… who will be along soon. This is one place to get your training. In the next few years, in this acceleration, many more will find themselves in an imperative to release their density and connect with their light… I welcome those who are feeling that imperative now.
Much of my professional
play has been without the chocolate – working with individuals, couples,
groups, and communities. Whatever is Up! In partnership with Higher
Self / Inner Knowing, where shall we go? I gently assist people in going
inside, into what is usually called the subconscious and unconscious, to change
the energetic and belief patterns that generate experience in and of
reality.
Names used for this
vary… processing, know thyself, inner work, shadow work, pain body, or emotional release
cover parts. I could be called a processing intuitive. I work
within anyone’s belief system... no need to endorse mine. I follow
you. I am oriented to practical results that change how one feels and the
way they experience their own life.
As long as your Soul is encouraging you there anyway, why not go with more elegance, prosperity, and expansion… and less pain and struggle? With more density for each of us to feel and release… how about allowing more assistance from your Higher Energies, Higher Self, and your Unseen Friends/ Guides?
I have worked extensively with creative people to help them get out of their own way and open more of whatever is theirs. I spend a lot of time with relationship issues. And certainly, issues of healing and spiritual growth. All those seemingly different manifestations of what one came into this life to move through.
As long as your Soul is encouraging you there anyway, why not go with more elegance, prosperity, and expansion… and less pain and struggle? With more density for each of us to feel and release… how about allowing more assistance from your Higher Energies, Higher Self, and your Unseen Friends/ Guides?
I have worked extensively with creative people to help them get out of their own way and open more of whatever is theirs. I spend a lot of time with relationship issues. And certainly, issues of healing and spiritual growth. All those seemingly different manifestations of what one came into this life to move through.
More information (as in more than book length!) can be
found in the blog entries of a good friend who writes deeply of her personal
inner experience attending my ceremonies as training and inner education, from
January, 2011 onward. She emerged as a talented healer and worker with
other’s density, and has returned as a regular assistant for more -
her blogging continues. A healer moves through her heavy load without
which she wouldn't have understood what she decided to know. www.brendalarsen.com
I have had many from
complete beginners to experienced spiritual travelers tell me that they did
some of their best inner evolution here. This is an experiential, not
lecture, ongoing intensive where you come and go as you will… those isolated in
the rational mind can find themselves lost... but for many that is
temporary. Regular students who have or open ability and are out of
‘fixing’ others have opportunity to develop their skills through assisting in
my ceremonies as they continue their own inner journey. Ego, fixing,
those who avoid their own work by healing others, and guys who must work with
the beautiful ladies… take it elsewhere, please… you will get called on it.
Those not actively in their own process are expected to hold ‘running light’
space for others. This is a good place for Empaths.
Here we use Empaths (and
others) who have completed their 'training' to assist in density release, and
to use their talents in the reverse direction. From taking in density to
taking in higher energies of various sorts... where the receiver just gets it,
has an immediate transformation, or moves to a much higher level of release
using joy or such… allowing that experience. A channel is a channel,
whatever the material or direction… This is an education for those who
run such 'light nutrition' and a benefit in acceleration for those on the
receiving end. Fun. It's time.
Another note on what is happening for some…
Another note on what is happening for some…
Regression
into childhood emotions as a part of the healing process.
Beyond all the inner child healing that is an essential
part of inner processing, parts of which we could call regression, there is
another level. It might have an
expression as pain, confusion, anger, depression/ sadness, hopelessness/
futility, disconnect… many things… It
may seem new or you may have been living in it for decades believing it to be who
you are - but it comes from the shutdown experience… from what you went through
in the process of accepting the conditioned reality.
I know a number of people working on this level, so I thought I would add a bit on it here. Many in inner work do not initially recognize the rise of these emotions as a journey back through that process… back through the assassination, blockage, loss, or disconnect of self… a journey back to more of who you came in as.
I know a number of people working on this level, so I thought I would add a bit on it here. Many in inner work do not initially recognize the rise of these emotions as a journey back through that process… back through the assassination, blockage, loss, or disconnect of self… a journey back to more of who you came in as.
These are the emotions the child experienced on shutting
down their magic and knowing (or for some, being shutdown)… on getting rid,
somehow, of who they were... in order to conform to the consensus reality and
be 'loved' by parents: Some go back through that experience to recover
the next magic of who they are. Not around it, avoiding it, but through
it… sit with the child in those feelings... deeply feeling them while knowing
in non-attachment that they are not truly yours (not identifying with them as
you in your now)... while allowing the light/love that transmutes it all.
There is no way to tell you how to do non-attachment… other than to say you will go back again and again until you are there… but I can tell you it happens. Imagine yourself watching a movie where you are completely lost in it being your reality, and no longer know who you are. Non-attachment would be feeling what you feel from the flow of the movie... really feeling it... while knowing that you are viewing a flow of images not from who you are.
There is no way to tell you how to do non-attachment… other than to say you will go back again and again until you are there… but I can tell you it happens. Imagine yourself watching a movie where you are completely lost in it being your reality, and no longer know who you are. Non-attachment would be feeling what you feel from the flow of the movie... really feeling it... while knowing that you are viewing a flow of images not from who you are.
You have to feel it to allow the energy charge to flow
out of you. You may have been feeling
and judging it for years… totally believing it to be who you are… but there is
more. As you feel it to the bottom
or as far as you can (non-attachment sure helps), you can allow the divine light/love to transmute
the emotional density into white light, first… and then bring in more light/love to
fill the now emptied space, second. It is this
combination of higher energies that heals you.
Layer after layer if that's how it is.
On a larger level... this experience in learning to be non-attached/
non-identified while an emotional reality, from another time, flows through you… is
essential. You learn to be blasé by the time you have
finished with density release from your own past, and so prepared for the
next step of having densities from past lives and parallel selves emerging in the same way... as those fragments of your larger entity… parts of your Soul… heal and unify… through you.
And some quotes...
"ya.... total real-time reruns of 8 month old exposed to unpleasant unsupportive energies... crying... being shut down in the guise of kindness...
And some quotes...
"ya.... total real-time reruns of 8 month old exposed to unpleasant unsupportive energies... crying... being shut down in the guise of kindness...
it was very painful and distressing
less distressing once i finally
unraveled the meaning, the metaphor
i
experienced the detailed shutdown that happened back then... when i made the
choice... because the energies around me were just too fucking painful to eat
any more
i woke up in terror and confusion
this morning... it lasted quite a long time
i finally was able to breathe in
enough calm to call on my higher self... and that helped
but i was totally in the 8 month
perspective... fear, pain, despair and hopelessness
no point in continuing ... total
resignation... wished i would die
how long does this go on? " …email communication
********************************************************************
...In my experience it is totally expected that
when a big 'layer' loses its foundation and begins to come 'up'... the obvious at
first is "oh how totally fucked up i am". Welcome!! It is a
very good sign! I have seen it many times. Been there...
********************************************************************
"Yep.. inner
child is having a pain feast tantrum field day [from] a failure to
be present and conditionally loving immature daddy… God. I'm doomed. <slaps head on desk>"
********************************************************************
"The shut down!! Oh my goodness! How sad to witness (in meditation) the meanness and injustice in what was considered normal and appropriate behavior in raising a child... and in managing relationship!! How could a sensitive, intuitive, intelligent child cope?
********************************************************************
And again from Brenda's blog: www.brendalarsen.com May 8, 2012... Quoted from an Abraham-Hicks YouTube video titled “The Secret Behind the Secret, Part 1.”
“I was absolutely powerless to change my life situation as a child,” I ponder as tingles consume my body. “I felt the hopelessness and futility of being stuck in a place where events around me were painful and not to my liking, but as an innocent child, I was powerless to change a thing. I finally just gave up and disconnected from Source. I felt as if God had let me down, and that I would never receive help from the one source that should have had my back.”
"The shut down!! Oh my goodness! How sad to witness (in meditation) the meanness and injustice in what was considered normal and appropriate behavior in raising a child... and in managing relationship!! How could a sensitive, intuitive, intelligent child cope?
By shutting down. (And also being shut down by external forces.)
Makes sense... sad."
"Being "good"... for desperate need for approval (no sense of self value). Be something so the outside world would seem to make sense... find a comfortable 'identity' that seems to fit-in, where people don't seem to judge you... or seem to reject you. And fear... not even sure of what."
********************************************************************
“i feel like there are all these newly uncovered characters within, swirling around in my field, trying to get my attention... some are such tiny fragments that they don't even have a story... but they still want to grab me and tell me the story they don't have.”
"Being "good"... for desperate need for approval (no sense of self value). Be something so the outside world would seem to make sense... find a comfortable 'identity' that seems to fit-in, where people don't seem to judge you... or seem to reject you. And fear... not even sure of what."
********************************************************************
“i feel like there are all these newly uncovered characters within, swirling around in my field, trying to get my attention... some are such tiny fragments that they don't even have a story... but they still want to grab me and tell me the story they don't have.”
********************************************************************
And again from Brenda's blog: www.brendalarsen.com May 8, 2012... Quoted from an Abraham-Hicks YouTube video titled “The Secret Behind the Secret, Part 1.”
“When
you see someone who behaves in a way that is upsetting to you, and you cannot
do anything about it, that feeling of powerlessness that comes over you is the
strongest factor in disconnecting from your Source Energy.”
“I was absolutely powerless to change my life situation as a child,” I ponder as tingles consume my body. “I felt the hopelessness and futility of being stuck in a place where events around me were painful and not to my liking, but as an innocent child, I was powerless to change a thing. I finally just gave up and disconnected from Source. I felt as if God had let me down, and that I would never receive help from the one source that should have had my back.”
That's Deity Drama, what one came in to work with, being locked in.
********************************************************************
And some Empath notes from the last few days... when it all starts to unravel:
"The empath stuff is especially fascinating to me right now... as i continue to look at myself in that light. i do now know that this is one of my important issues to explore, which can explain a lot. how i took on so much of my family toxic stuff as a child, took it in like a sponge. (having no clue i was doing such a thing, perhaps thought it was all mine? A lot for a lil kid to take on!)"
********************************************************************
"and i keep "forgetting" what
incites the terror.........
and
then i remember... it's the deep belief that love = pain... that if i don't
sabotage it myself it'll hurt way more after i've let the love grow deep. Terror... sadness... futility... all today's
specials at the Inner Work Cafe... ...IM about processing
********************************************************************
"thank you for flying Air Keith!" ...my sweetheart
********************************************************************
And some Empath notes from the last few days... when it all starts to unravel:
"The empath stuff is especially fascinating to me right now... as i continue to look at myself in that light. i do now know that this is one of my important issues to explore, which can explain a lot. how i took on so much of my family toxic stuff as a child, took it in like a sponge. (having no clue i was doing such a thing, perhaps thought it was all mine? A lot for a lil kid to take on!)"
"One of its effects on me>>>
the hiding, protecting, suppressing of my very wide open inner child/sponge
heart."
"Then, to have it made wrong, bad, and
even to make this sensitive part of me wrong myself, or blame it the as the
reason for my emotional suffering. See it as a weakness, or a fault."
"And so, a rejected part of me.
When in reality it is the most
sensitive and magical part of me!!!"
*******************************************************************
"I suddenly remember a
powerful example of how, when in conversations with the very friend who had
synchronously slammed me on Facebook this morning, I used to listen for hours
while she had unloaded her angry emotions onto me. When the conversation was
over, she was all happy and bubbly, and it would take me days to recover – to
let go of the emotions she dumped on me."
…“Keith,” I briefly
interrupt. “All of that deep emotional charge that I suddenly felt this morning
after opening my friend’s comment … was that my own emotional stuff … or did I
unknowingly suck in her emotions from thousands of miles away?”
“What do you think?” Keith
asks, making me find my own answer.
“It wasn’t mine at all. I did
the same thing with her this morning that I did throughout our friendship. I
connected with her – I felt her judgment, anger, and pain – and I sucked it
inside of my belly, believing it to be my own.”
“Now you’re beginning to
understand.” Keith grins back at me.
"As Keith continues to lead
the empath training, I attempt to participate, but my emotions swell so deeply
that I cannot focus. Multitudes of memories begin to explode in my mind –
memories of being a people pleaser who was terrified of conflict and anger,
because I took it all into me – memories from throughout my life. Until today,
I had believed all of that pain to be my own. Now I clearly see that I was
inhaling it from others."
********************************************************************
“Guess what?? We did it... we bought our sailboat! Yipeee this has been
dream of mine since I was 10 years old, that I have gazed at in a looking
glass... not anymore :) I want to thank you, from the very essence of my being
for helping and guiding me through these times, through my inner snares and
gardens, and speaking truths of light and existence. I am a different
human being these days, and still settling in. My physical body feels so
permeable and yet at times still so foreign, there is a profound yet subtle
difference, in the way I move, and in the way I am learning to enter in unison
with the energies of others, without attaching to them. Each day s a journey,
each day there is change and expansion. Ha I was kinda Dense, the surfacing of
hidden depths and energies is constant in these times for me, and the belief
and judgement that " I should be done with this already" is floating
away in surrender with the controlling parts of myself. I truly feel as if I am
learning how to be again, how to be the light that I know I am. Each day anew,
washing and bathing in the light of the present moment, and allowing.....” …an empath friend on the ocean who seems to
have finished eating and attaching to other’s density
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More about Empaths and my work with them on the work-in-progress 'Empath Angels' page on this site.
To purchase our cacao, please go to our new e-commerce website: https://keithscacao.com blessings
To purchase our cacao, please go to our new e-commerce website: https://keithscacao.com blessings
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